What is happiness? Happiness – or joy – is that feeling I recognize as being an overwhelming sense of warmth. Happiness fills me from top to bottom and just makes my soul and my heart leap in glee! So, what’s the problem?
Happiness – from a social perspective
I often hear or read people talking about how they can be happy “when.” They just need to reach that next promotion or get a new job. If only they had a partner in life, THEN they could be happy. Honestly, how often do I tell myself that if this happens then I can be happier and able to do thus and so? Far. Too. Often. Happiness does not come with qualifiers. We do NOT need to be anywhere specific in life to be happy.
So why the disconnect, Britt?
Let’s work together on figuring this out. These qualifiers we put in place are a lie. Do you hear that? They are a L-I-E!!! As humans we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. We compare our status, income, career, worth. When we look at what others have and see only the good and compare it to our worst, then of course our lives appear to be lacking. We need to stop the comparison trap!!! Stop it! It’s stealing your joy!
I also know we hear all the time that we cannot buy happiness, but how often do we believe it? Isn’t it completely normal for us to believe that if we just get that raise, or buy that house, or save money for that vacation, or whatever then we will be utterly and completely happy. But will we? Are we ever so happy after a vacation that we jump right into the next workday with joy? I know I’ve never done that.
What should I do instead, Britt?
We need to focus on the good in our lives and find happiness in the every day things. There are moments of happiness that you need to both recognize and understand about your day-to-day is that they are exactly what life is all about. One of the things we all need to learn and work on is realizing that life is a series of small and seemingly insignificant happy moments. We need to learn to recognize those moments. We need to learn to cherish each of those moments. Those moments are the fuel that energizes our lives. The fuel that keeps each of us motivated and on task.
When we can see the good in what we have now, and not what could be… can you just imagine the transformation that could have on your life? What good could we do for those around us if we even just gave ourselves grace for being human? I mean if we quit comparing how our life compares to others around us. Even if we stopped comparing our life now to the one we had 5, 10, 15, 20+ years ago!! Why are we always comparing to find the negative? Because, that’s what we’ve been trained to do our whole lives. Find the flaws. What we need to learn, and hopefully train the next generations to do, is to identify the good we DO have. See what is good and give yourself grace for what you want to see in the future.
Please realize that we can find joy and happiness in what we have. We can be happy where we are and STILL aspire to be more. I’ll share a secret though. When you are happy where you are and simply dream a little bigger, life is SO MUCH easier to enjoy. Smiles are sweeter. Laughter is more fulfilling. Friendships are stronger.