Today was the first day since quitting my side hustles that I’ve taken time to sit down and set goals. Goals for myself and my blog – this blog. It felt so good to feel good enough to want to try setting goals; even if they were just small, personal goals. It was good to set goals that keep me moving.
2019 will be a year in which I will push myself; while at the same time I will allow myself time to read. Time to work on my hand stitching projects. Allowing myself the chance to step back if I find myself beginning to stress so much I’m shutting down again. It will be nice taking time to pray about the goals I’ve set. Taking time to make sure I can manage them without resetting myself back into the depression. I don’t want to get stuck in that place that left me feeling empty and exhausted. Now that I know what depression feels like for me, it will be easier for me to recognize it. Recognizing it early enough to do something about it and take care of myself is huge.
Everyone on the internet seems to be telling moms and women and humans everywhere to make sure they take time for self care like: baths, wine, coffee, face masks, etc. I tried these things and honestly, they didn’t seem to help me much, if at all.
My self care looks very different. For me, self care takes time, real time. Self care is playing volleyball twice a week for a couple of hours. For me, self care is taking time to let my kids play so I can dive head-first into a book and get lost in the world within the pages. Self care is allowing myself to be happy without feeling like I have to make money or get a job or feel guilty that I don’t have one or want one. For me, self care is allowing myself to be okay being a wife and a mom and a human. I won’t base my worth on working so I can be seen as worth something.
I’m learning to find joy in where I am. Learning to stop judging myself on where I want to be or hoped I would be by now. I hope we can all find at least some joy in where we are. We need to stop basing our happiness on some days, what ifs, could have beens, should bes.
Want to follow my journey navigating depression? You can find all of the info here, from the beginning, and follow along as I continue along this path of caring for my mental health.
Has depression impacted your life, or are you unsure if you need help? Feel free to contact me or leave a comment and begin some dialogue. There’s no need to suffer alone.